What’s Your Sign?

I’ve come to the realization recently that I am more inclined to astrology than I would like to think. I’ve never really considered myself a true believer because I don’t have all of the signs memorized and I honestly have never met someone, found out they were a Taurus or a Gemini or whatever and thought “Oooooooh, that makes a lot of sense.” Mainly because I really have no idea what that means. (Unless that person is a Pisces because I’ve never met a Pisces who didn’t tell me a they were a Pisces and then go into an entire explanation on why it makes sense that they are a Pisces. Did I mention they’re a Pisces?)

But I’m finding that just because I can’t learn your birth date and explain to you why you are the way you are because Jupiter happened to be in alignment that day doesn’t mean that I don’t consider the planets effects on us plausible.

My mother has always been a firm upholder in the moon’s effects on people’s emotions from month to month and I most definitely inherited that belief. As a cancer and a woman, I feel very close to the moon. Though, I’m almost positive that if I were anything else and a man my connections to the moon would only be slightly less.

In all honesty, I think humans in general have that giant crater to thank for our most combative mood swings. Police all over the world have reported that on nights when the moon is full there jobs get a little harder as things get crazier, busier, and more hectic. And I can pretty honestly say that if there’s ever a day where I feel like sprouting some razer sharp teeth and claws and maybe a tail and biting someone’s head off, it’s generally going to be a full moon that night.

"I AM GOING TO EAT YOUR F#@KING FACE!"

“I AM GOING TO EAT YOUR F#@KING FACE!”

Given, there is no solid proof of the this and, in fact, there are some who would argue against it. But I’d bet you anything those same people made no such contradiction during the super moon a while back for fear of being ripped to shreds by their on edge girlfriends.

The reason I bring all of this up has to do with the fact that last week I was informed that Mercury was in retrograde which apparently means that communication is down. If you don’t know what retrograde means, it’s when a planet (I’m not sure if it’s just Mercury or if it can happen to other planets, too) slows down during its orbit thus giving the appearance that it is going backwards. Mercury is the planet of communication and intellect so it makes sense that all last week words were tumbling out of my mouth like gumballs from a gumball machine; slow and clumsy with very little taste.

Unfortunately, no one informed me about this planetary occurrence until it was almost over so I spent the better portion of the week thinking the Office marathon I had enjoyed the Saturday before had fried my brain.

At the peak of my bumbling distress, a friend approached me and was like “Did you hear? Mercury is traveling backwards or something.” And I was like “Okay, I give up…”

The universe is against me this week. Come get me when it's over.

The universe is against me this week. Come get me when it’s over.

I’m starting to think I should pay more attention to the planetary calender.

Oh…and Happy Valentines Day.

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