Reasons Why I’m Not a Coffee Drinker

I am not a coffee person.

There are a couple of reasons for this, most of which I believe to be pretty practical. For one, I don’t like the taste so if I do drink coffee, it’s not actually coffee, it’s a mocha or a latte which are both more sugar and foam than anything else so the calorie count is monstrous (particularly if I drink one every morning like I did through out most of high school) and the damage it does to my wallet is simply disgraceful. Also, I generally just can’t handle the immense rush of caffeine which is the whole reason why most people drink coffee in the first place. A little energy boost here and there is typically not lethal, but I find that, for me, drinking a cup of coffee is a lot like a five-year-old eating a pack of pixie sticks. So I tend to lean toward yerbe mate instead.

My final reason for not being a coffee person is a little less reasonable. I think coffee is ugly. I don’t like how it looks dripping from the coffee machine all brown and wet. And it’s even worse when it is sitting in my cup. It kind of just looks like poopy water. After I add some cream and sugar it’s a little better, but not my much. This is also part of the reason why I like mochas and lattes. At least the foam on top is pretty. Especially if you go to a place like Burial Grounds in Olympia where they put little skulls in your foam or decorate it with lavender.

unappealing poopy water

unappealing poopy water

adorable, sugary deliciousness

adorable, sugary deliciousness (sorry it’s sideways. I don’t know how to fix it)

Besides, I just like tea better, anyway.

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